The Racial Divide

I know it has been a month and a half since I blogged, so I felt it was time to get back to it. I absolutely love blogging and now that school has settled down and I am in somewhat of a routine, I thought I would try to be more consistent.

I have had so many changes since I last blogged including going back to work, breaking a bone in my foot, starting my dissertation, registering for an intro to Judaism class, etc. But today I would like to focus on an issue that is very close to my heart. If you live in St. Louis, you are aware of the racial divide that was portrayed in the news to all of the country after the shooting of Mike Brown. I absolutely love St. Louis. I did not grow up here, but I have lived here since I was 24 and I love it. We have beautiful parks, a world-class zoo, museums, bike trails, many religious organizations, good schools, diverse community, etc. It is affordable and you get a lot for your money. I always complain about being landlocked and the fact that Lambert is not really an international airport, but other than that, it is a great place to live. But bubbling under that surface is this racial divide. I don't understand judging someone based on their culture, race, skin color, religion, gender, sexual identity, etc. I never have and never will. That being said, I am a white woman and I can only speak from my own experiences/perceptions. I have rarely faced prejudice. I faced a bit of prejudice in Uganda for being a liberal woman and my religious beliefs, but it was a far cry from the prejudice I have heard from friends, seen on the news, and read in books. I try really hard to make sure I am informed about how marginalized people feel and keep my ears open.

I am currently reading That's the Way It Was: Stories of Struggle, Survival and Self-Respect in Twentieth-Century Black St. Louis by Vida Goldman Prince. I saw this book at the library and really wanted to read it. The author interviewed thirteen different people who grew up in St. Louis and lived through the civil rights era. I have only read two chapters, but it is fascinating to hear people talk about places I go to today and how things were at that time. I can't help but put myself in their shoes and listen to their oral histories about how things used to be...and still are today.

As a teacher, I feel it is my duty to make sure my students know the difference between right and wrong. They need to be able to evaluate things critically and carefully. I want my students to make decisions based on what is right for them, not what is popular. I had an incident with one of my students last week that caused me to reflect about the current events. I rarely have behavorial problems with my students, but they sometimes have problems with other students. I teach ESL (students who are learning English), so all of my students represent other countries. The majority of my students are Mexican, but we do have a smattering of other countries including El Salvador, Togo, DRC, Ivory Coast, Vietnam, Laos, etc. My student got into a physical fight with another student and was suspended from school (as was the other student). I had a chance to talk with him after the fight and he kept saying to me, "Ms. Cardwell, he called me African. He was making fun of the way I spoke English. He's been bothering me for two weeks." It literally tore my heart out of my chest. We are a caring school and we take bullying very seriously. We listen to students and take their feelings seriously. We now have a lot more staff that are trained in how to deal with serious issues that are students face. I asked my student why he didn't tell me and he admitted that he thought it would stop. This incident provided me an opportunity to remind my student that we must tell adults when something is bothering us and we must solve things peacefully. We must talk through them and educate others. I couldn't help but think of the Ferguson protests and how things have turned violent again. In fact, this week there were businesses damaged (again) and I can't help but wonder why? Why would people damage businesses in their own community? Why would people drive business owners away?

In my opinion, if I am willing to destroy businesses in my community, I have no other choice. This would be a last resort solution. I do not have control over anything, so I am going to control what I can. This just feels wrong to me. Everyone should have a choice. Is this a case of right and wrong or a case of having to put up with prejudice for so long, it just explodes? I am not sure, but I know something has to happen so that all people feel loved and accepted. I don't like labels and I don't want to put people in a box. The idea that I should act a certain way because I am a woman or white abhors me. I am a human and I get to decide the way I want to act. That doesn't give me an excuse to break the law or destroy property. That is a right and wrong issue. But I should be able to walk down my street (on the sidewalk) without being harassed by law enforcement. I should be able to walk into a gas station to buy a coffee without being followed. I should not get pulled over just because of my skin color. I shouldn't have to worry about a police officer shooting me because I reach for my driver's license. I should be able to apply for a load to get a house or car because of my credit and not because of my appearance. I want every student who comes through my door to feel respected and loved. I want every parent I encounter to feel I respect them for who they are and value their choices. I was not put on this earth to judge you, but to listen, learn, and respect you because you are beautifully made. 

I do like some of the positive steps that my city is taking in order to bridge the differences and discuss the beliefs about other cultures. They are offering forums and there is a screening for a locally made movie at the history museum. The media has advertised various events to help Ferguson residents and business owners. This is a step in the right direction, albeit a bit late. Maybe we could be more proactive instead of reactive. The shooting of an unarmed teen in Ferguson was just a manifestation of what has been happening for years. It is our duty to make it right and listen to each other. Regardless of your belief of what happened that night, we need to learn from this situation so that it may never happen again. 

Out of Shape, Parties!

Out of Shape
I am out of shape. I have only gained a few pounds during my time in Africa, but my body has changed shape and gone soft. Seriously. In Africa, I walked a lot a ran a few times, but really didn't do much to challenge my body. Before I left, I was boxing 3 times a week, running at least 10 miles a week, training 2-3 times a week, and biking at least once a week. I lost muscle in my arms and legs and my middle seemed to grow. I can't fit into my size 8 jeans or dresses. I even bought new jeans to be more comfortable. I also can't run more than a quarter of a mile at a time, which really, really pisses me off. How is that possible after running 6 half marathons? All this is to say that I have to get in shape. I also saw these pics from the gay PRIDE parade and it upset me. Yes, I am petty, but I want to get back in shape and have my firm, hourglass figure.

So, I have started a full out assault on my exercise program. So here is my weekly routine:

boxing 3

running/walking 3

weight training 2

yoga 1-2

rest 1

I am trying to rest one day a week and would like to incorporate some biking soon. I just need to take my bike in to get serviced because the tires are flat. I will work on that next week. I am also sleeping 8 hours a day and trying to drink a lot of water. I have not attacked my food choices yet, but that is next. I am not focusing on weight loss yet, but that will come with better food choices and exercise. I just want to become strong again. I need to be patient, but I am not by nature a patient person. I would like to be in shape enough to run a half in October. We shall see.

Welcome Back Party

We had party last night and hosted about 30 people. It was nice and small. We grilled hamburgers, turkey hotdogs, brats, and mushrooms. We also had lots of chips, veggies, potato salad, pasta salad, and desserts. We always have a signature cocktail and the Singletons made a delicious summer drink with white wine, white soda, limeade, and strawberries. It was delicious and didn't last long! We had so much food and drink, but it all worked out well. I am still having a hard time adjusting to things here, especially the excess of everything. My heart is still very much with Uganda and they people I met there. I am so glad to be home, but the differences are still quite shocking to me. 

patio is ready for drinking

food!

signature cocktail 

notice the custom made apron by Natalie

Fourth of July Celebrations

I have decided to keep writing my blog about once a week even though I am no longer out of the country. I love that people actually care about my writing and it is an easy way for me to reflect on the week.

This past weekend I celebrated my first holiday back home since leaving for Africa. Fourth of July has always marked the beginning of summer for me. It is the time when everyone gets together and celebrates our freedom and independence. My celebrations usually consist of good BBQ, outdoor concerts, and fireworks. This year was no exception. I wasn't exactly sure how my 4th was going to work out because my friends were spending time with their families and my family wasn't having anything until the 5th. But earlier this week, my friend, Wagner decided to come into down and visit my family. He had not been back to St. Louis in SEVEN years, so it was good for him to come back and share some time with us.

The festivities here usually start around July 3 and this year our celebration, Fair St. Louis, was moved to Forest Park because there is construction happening down at the Arch. Forest Park is just a couple of miles from me, so I thought for sure I would see fireworks on July 3, 4, and 5. But to my dismay, I could not see any fireworks. On Friday morning I went to the grocery store to stock up on food for the weekend. The boys were going home because it was Joe's mom's birthday and Wagner was coming in so I wanted to make sure there was plenty of food in the house. As I walked into the grocery store, I could not get over the variety. I know I have been home for a little over a week, but this is the first time I have stepped into grocery store since being back. My wonderful roommate stocked my fridge with delicious foods, so I didn't need to go to the store. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed with all of the choices. The cereal aisle alone was too much. I got what I needed and got out.

On Friday afternoon, my friend Wagner came into town. I haven't seen Wagner in about a year. We divorced nearly seven years ago and that was the last time he saw my family. It was good to be together and talk about our lives. We visited some of the sites, had lunch, and headed down to Fair St. Louis. Fair St. Louis is our celebration for the fourth of July holiday. There is live music and fireworks each night. We parked close to Forest Park, but had to walk quite a lot to get to the fair. Once we got in, we stood at the top of the hill to watch the performances.
A man approached us and said, "Are you guys alone?"
Wagner and I just looked at each other and didn't really know how to respond. One of us squeaked out, "yes, why?"
He said, "My wife and I have two extra VIP passes and we thought maybe you could use them."
We gladly took the passes and then discussed whether it was for real or a trick. We decided to go into the VIP tent and check out the perks. The tent was nice with some free food and expensive drinks. We quickly realized there were better seats down the hill so we left the VIP area and found a place in the grass to relax and watch the concert. After the concert, we headed down to the Grand Basin to watch a tightrope walker, which was really cool. Then, we started heading back to the car. We didn't have the patience to wait out the fireworks, but we saw a lot of them on the way home.

The life of a resident...

The next day we headed to Creve Coeur Lake to get some exercise...me - running; Wagner - paddle boarding. Then, we headed over to mom and dad's where they had a BBQ waiting for us. It was so good to go to my parent's house and visit with my family.

Kelly and Kennedie

Baby girl!

Wagner and I

Wagner and Josh

Wagner, Mom, Ella

Wagner and Ella 

After visiting with the family in Alton, we headed over to my sister's house for some dinner and drinks. Kristin lives pretty close to me and it was on the way home. Kristin and Josh made delicious food with wine and desserts.

Then, we headed to Club Viva to dance at one of the popular Latin clubs here. It has been a long time since I danced merengue and salsa and I am pretty sure I made a fool of myself, but we had a good time. Wagner headed back to D.C. today and I really enjoyed the time we had together.

Workout Report
boxing 2X
running 3X (8 miles)
weight training 2X
I was a workout fiend before I left for Uganda, but during my time there, I only did a lot of walking. Therefore, I lost a lot of muscle tone, strength, and endurance. I have only gained about 7 pounds, but it is noticeable to me and my clothes don't fit the same way. So, I am on a mission to get back in shape before I head back to work next month. I would also like to run a half in October...we shall see.

Overall, it has been a pretty good first week. I am hoping to get into a routine this next week and work on my dissertation along with workouts.

Respectful Language in Comments

Just a reminder that all comments posted on my blog need to be respectful to ALL people. I will delete your comment if it contains rude, disrespectful language. I encourage a good debate and opinions, but I will not allow disrespectful behavior on my blog, which I control. Thank you for your cooperation.

Keeping Quiet...Shh!

I have waited six weeks to publish this post because I didn't want to get "in trouble" for posting my opinion. As I was watching the tv this morning, I heard CNN announce President Obama's reaction to the St. Louis Ram's draft of Michael Sam, which is the first openly gay football player. “From the playing field to the corporate boardroom, LGBT Americans prove everyday that you should be judged by what you do and not who you are.”

I felt such pride in my hometown, yet I kept quiet about it. I have had to keep quiet about a lot of things while at UCU. I did not choose UCU, but I was placed there. UCU was chosen because they are very organized and run on time. However, UCU is a very religious institution. I knew this going in, but what I didn't know was that I would have to agree and commit myself to UCU's Instruments of Identity. There are three parts to this document including: Rule of Faith, Rule of Life, and Rule of Prayer. I didn't really have a problem with the faith and prayer part. After all, I call myself a Christian and have a personal relationship with God. The problem I had was with the Rule of Life. It reads:

 Rule of Life: Seeking to love our neighbours as ourselves, we promise:

(a) to worship the one true God and avoid polytheistic worship and the invoking of 
        ancestral spirits or other powers;
(b) to avoid swearing and disparaging talk about God, or gossip about our neighbour;
(c) to respect public times of worship and rest;
(d) to respect the legitimate authority of the state, the family, the Church, and the 
        University, observing University rules and not participating in any public riot;
(e) to uphold the human and civil rights of persons regardless of race, class, ethnic 
        group, or gender, including the unborn, and to renounce any physical or verbal 
        abuse of another person;
(f) to shun all sexual immorality, polygamy, adultery, fornication and homosexual 
        practice;
(g) not to steal or engage in financial dishonesty of any kind;
(h) to tell the truth and renounce all forms of plagiarism and false testimony;
(i) to dress decently and treat each other with decency and purity;
(j) to exercise moderation in all things, avoiding abuse of body and soul through 
        alcohol, tobacco, drugs, pornography, or gambling.

The problem I had was with letter f because I do not "shun" these things. In fact, the word shun means "to avoid deliberately and especially habitually." Now, I understand this might be a difference in American and British language, but there are very few things that I shun even if I disagree with the belief. But here, it is different. People who are supposed to be Christians spew hatred towards people who are gay. I can't even understand the reasons or the logic for hating people for something they didn't choose. It absolutely drives me crazy and I have had to keep quiet...since January.

In January, I was called in to the Vice Chancellor's office. Before the meeting, my institutional contact (we will call him William) told me the meeting was about staffing and I thought maybe I was being asked to do some additional duties. William assured me it was nothing to worry about. After all, I was very proud of my work and I knew students were learning and improving their writing. I was working a million hours and I knew my work was paying off. When I arrived at the VC's office, I was greeted by the VC, assistant VC for HR, and one of the Americans that coordinates an exchange program on campus. The VC then proceeded to accuse me of three offenses:
1. alcohol on campus
2. overnight visitors
3. offering alcohol to students.

I was floored. I remember saying:
You know I am almost 40, right? 
My apartment is private. How would you know these things?
I asked and was told I could have wine. 
I have only had one student in my house and it was with several people. 
The student wasn't even one of my students!
When did you have me sign something about these rules? When did you give me an orientation?
Why are you spying on me?
Who has accused me of these things?

The VC responded:
The rules are clear. 
It doesn't matter the age. 
You are required to be celibate. 
Alcohol is forbidden. 
You have been warned many times. 

I again pleaded my case:
These accusations are outrageous. I have never had a party at my house. I have only had a bottle of wine. My apartment is my privacy. I live in a private apartment. What about all of my work I have done on campus? No one has ever spoken to me about any of these things...EVER. 

The VC responded:
We will not tolerate this behavior. You will most likely have to leave. 

It was at this point that the HR person chimed in and asked the VC to really consider what he should do since this was a shared job with the embassy and I was not informed of the policies. I left his office feeling dejected and immediately called my family. I thought I was going home. That night, I tried and tried to sleep I thought about all of the things I had done and why they were wrong. I kept wondering why the VC listened to gossip and accused me instead of just talking with me and asking questions. It was the first time we had met and I felt like I was on trial. I felt like I was 16. I was alone and just wanted to go home.

The next day, I called the embassy and discussed the situation with them. They felt incredibly embarrassed about the invasion of privacy and accusations. They asked if I wanted to leave and I said I wasn't sure. They said it was my choice and that I didn't have to tolerate my rights being violated. I told them I wish I knew I was going to have to live like a nun while teaching English. Then, I received a letter from the VC addressed to me with "strictly confidential" on it. I knew this was it. I was going home. The letter read:

Dear Ms Cardwell, 

RE: ALLEGATION OF INAPPROPRIATE CONDUCT AS A STAFF MEMBER

Greetings in Christ Jesus our Lord!

I am writing to follow up on our discussion with you on 20th January 2014 with regards to complaints received alleging your inappropriate conduct while servicing at Uganda Christian University as staff. 

I wish to remind you that Uganda Christian University is a Christian-based institution, whose values and expectation are clearly spelt out in the Instruments of Identity and the Staff Code of Conduct, as revised in 2011. 

While you claimed that you have never seen or received the Instruments of Identity and the Staff Code of Conduct of the university, any deviation to the expected conduct would not be acceptable. 

The university is willing to take your word of commitment to continue serving on condition that you adhere to all the rules and expected conduct as states in the Staff Code of Conduct. 

I hope that we shall have reason to make your remaining stay with UCU hospitable and compliant with our Christian identity. Thank you. 

Yours Sincerely, 
VC

Relief flooded over me, but I was hesitant to stay. Trust with people was now broken and I had a creepy old guy watching over my apartment. I was also saddened that all the administration saw was that I was a problem instead of all of the amazing connections I had made with students and teachers. I was also saddened that he made an example out of me. I have always felt very confident with the way I handle students and have never violated a work code of conduct. I also knew that this was a way for the VC to extinguish rumors and claim they "handled" the situation. The university was constantly defending themselves against rumors in the paper of students getting pregnant, lecturers living together before marriage, lecturers sleeping with students, gay students/staff, students paying for grades, etc. In fact, the HR person showed me a HUGE stack of cases waiting for their attention after our meeting when she tried to smooth things over. I wondered why the VC focused on me. I am sure he didn't know, but he picked the wrong person in which to have a quarrel because I am educated and strong. I know how I feel and I am confident in my beliefs. Maybe that is why he picked me. Bring. it. on.

After that incident, I had another incident with the dean and my institutional contact "William." I will spare the details, but basically they told me I couldn't walk with males across the campus at UCU. They said they had heard rumors from various lecturers (which was a blatant lie). They said I needed to walk alone at night. I knew that wasn't going to happen. I would walk with whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I was done with the bullcrap. At that point, I welcomed being sent home early because then I would be in a place of love and non-judgment. That didn't happen and I was able to stay throughout the end of my contract.

In April, I was able to go to Senegal and meet up with all of the fellows like me in Africa. They were mortified at my situation. Sometimes it is hard to gain perspective when you are in the situation, but once you are away, you understand and have a more realistic view. Most of them sad they couldn't deal with the situation. I guess I just felt duped because everyone I asked told me something different. Many, many lecturers and students have told me about situation in which they have been in "trouble" with administration or have had to hide things. People have to hide kids because they are not married. Religious leaders on campus hide their homosexuality by marrying women in lavish ceremonies. Students are scared to share issues with their lecturers because they are afraid they will tell administration or worse let, they might be caught in the middle and have to pay off or sleep with the lecturer for forgiveness. Students are shamed for going to a bar with their friends. Women are humiliated for getting pregnant, while the men are put on a pedestal without responsiblity. It saddens me to see religion used as a way to condemn others through gossip and malice. Also in April, there were three college girls (all above 18) expelled from UCU for bring pregnant before marriage. This caused them to lose the dream of achieving a higher education, which is something that would better the life of mother and baby. I fail to understand how that helps show love, let alone protecting mother and baby. Let's condemn the mother to a life of poverty...that will teacher her not to have sex before marriage! I was livid about that situation and I have heard there are other students pregnant as I speak. It seems to me like UCU focuses on the wrong things. There are people in leadership positions who have very little educational experience, but they are "religious" so it is a good fit. I disagree. If you want to advocate a certain religion, then you should uphold academic AND religious standards. UCU has lost a lot of staff and American support because of the way they try to control others' lives. They should respect that decisions are private and you can't control peoples' homes. This is the reason it is called a PRIVATE life. Yes, I understand you can't have a gay minister in Christianity, but focus on the issues that are harming students such as:

• lecturers giving grades for money, 
• lecturers offering money for sex, 
• inappropriate teaching methods, 
• HODs stealing money from budgets which were intended for a workshop/accommodations for a department, 
• sexually inappropriate comments, especially towards women,
• students fearing to trust their lecturers, etc. 

It makes me sad because they have the potential to be an incredible institution. I met a lot of amazing lecturers there, but unfortunately legalistic views clouded my perception of the university.

Today, I marched with my friends in the gay PRIDE parade. I marched for the people in Uganda who can't be who they are because they would be thrown in jail. I marched for all of the people in Uganda who came out to me and have to "keep quiet" for fear of their lives. I am a straight woman, but I support rights for ALL people no matter gender, orientation, culture, language, religion, etc. I was created to love. I clash with anyone who believes otherwise.

Culture Shock!!

I am going through some serious culture shock this week. I know I couldn't wait to get home and now it feels like I can't wait to go back to Africa. I have seen the way most of the world lives and I can't take it back. My mind constantly makes comparisons even when I try to push them away. Here is what I have noticed so far:

1. HD TV
I am embarrassed to say that we have 5 TVs in this house for only 3 people and all of them are HD. I didn't have access to HD in Uganda. I know it is available, but it is expensive and would have required me to buy a dish. But I never saw HD tv there (except on my computer) and I just can't avert my eyes. It looks so crystal clear! My tv also looks bigger because I have watched smaller tvs.

2. On Demand TV/DVR/Netflix
Uganda doesn't have "on demand" services and I truly missed them. I love to be able to catch up on a season with the click of a button. I also missed my DVR. I would download shows, but I would have to pay for the downloads and some of those shows took up a lot of data. It is a little known fact that Netflix, Hulu, etc. don't work outside of the U.S. So, I had to have a few friends help me to figure out a way around and use other sites. My current favorite series is Orange is the New Black. I watched it last summer and absolutely loved it. I just finished season 2 today and hope there is another season coming out next year. It is shameful to say, but I have wasted so much time watching tv!

3. Food
I really, really missed fresh foods like lettuce, spinach, and colored peppers. They have greens in Uganda, but they are rarely served as a fresh salad. They do have cabbage, but most people serve it already dripping in oil or mayo. I can't get enough salads, but it is causing my stomach to sound as if I have drummers competing for the loudest title. I am not sure who is winning, but I am annoyed with the gurgling already. We had really great fruit in Uganda, so I miss pineapples, bananas, and avocados. They tasted so fresh and the ones here just don't do it for me. I have not gone grocery shopping yet because my beautiful roommate had all of my favorite foods for me already stocked, but I did stop by Schnucks to fill a prescription. I was incredibly overwhelmed with the new products and HUGE variety. Just the cheeses alone cause my head to spin!

4. Internet
I can't get over the speed of internet here and the availability of wifi. There was even wifi at the doctor's office today! What would takes hours to load in Uganda takes just a few minutes. I can even watch You Tube when I click on it instead of waiting for it to load. Crazy! My ipad rarely worked in Uganda because the wifi signal was so slow, but it works awesome here. I can even see my newspaper every morning on the ipad! One of my favorite features on the ipad is the ability to download popular magazines from my library. I could seriously be a spokesperson for the library because I think this is one of the coolest features they have added.

5. Cleanliness
Everything is super, super clean here. I mean everything. There is no dust or dirt. The roads are clear of debris and potholes. I could not get over the cleanliness of the clinic I went to today. It was literally sparkling. I don't think I noticed this before I left.

6. People
I have only been home a few days, but I have already seen a lot of people. When they see me, they usually ask how was it or say tell me about your trip. But it is very hard for me to speak about 10 months of life-changing events in just a minute or so. Most peoples' eyes glass over once I go past a minute or two. I know people are trying to be polite or they are just curious. It is so hard for me to explain things I have seen because they are so different from here, almost like night and day. One of my friends adjusting back to U.S. life complained that her friends were quite petty and talked about their iphones or complaining about being so fat and needed and work out. Those things are so trivial compared to life or death circumstances we saw on a daily basis. I am very fortunate to have great friends who are really support and genuinely love me, but I was at a party earlier this week and the girls were talking about upgrading their iphones. If they only knew how the rest of the world lives. I held my tongue and listened, but for those of you who know me well, it was quite a challenge.

7. Comfort
Everything is built for comfort here from air conditioning almost everywhere to the smooth roads to instant foods to my amazing dishwasher to my computer-like washer. I never noticed it before until I lived in a place with no air conditioning where I didn't have a car (most people don't). I am constantly cold, but I think it is just because my body is not used to the air conditioning. I NEVER felt ac in Uganda except at the U.S. embassy. I also can't get over how the traffic moves so smoothly WITHOUT a single traffic officer. They seem to be on every corner in Uganda. The roads are nearly perfect and there are no potholes. Some major roads are just rock and dirt. Even today when I had a simple procedure, the doctor numbed the area, yet when I had the larvae extracted from my face in Uganda, there was no numbing. I am also amazed the instant foods. I made pancakes from scratch just like I did in Uganda, but I can literally get anything I want by popping it in the microwave or going through a drive thru. Mind blowing! There are so many things that save us time like a washing machine or dishwasher. Most people in Uganda do their own laundry, but I can put a load in the machine and do other things while it washes for me. I HATE washing dishes, so I missed my dishwasher terribly. So different.

Overall, I feel like my transitions has gone smoothly. I am sleeping well, but waking up about 6:30 a.m., which makes me angry. I am also struggling with the time change because I can't talk to my friends when I want to because they are sleeping. I know I will adjust and jump right back into my life. But hopefully, for the next month or so, I can relax and visit with many people.

Flight Back Home

I wrote this over 24 hours while en route to St. Louis.

As I sit in the Entebbe airport, I fight the urge to run back to the university vehicle and run away with my Ugandan friends. I have felt so loved here. It really hurts deeply to leave. I am not sure it has sunk in yet, but it will. I am going back to my spoiled world and I am excited, but my return is bitter sweet. I can hardly wait to see my family and friends, but I have left half of my heart with the people of Uganda.

My journey today started around 7 p.m. when we left for the airport. I had so many people come and visit me at my apartment this afternoon. It was such a nice, relaxing time. About 3:30, I received a call from KLM saying my flight was delayed nearly three hours due to an aircraft change. So, back to when I left at 7 and then arrived at the airport at 10. Entebbe is about 55 km from Mukono and takes us about three hours. It was okay. I enjoyed the traffic and being with my friends. I always hate the traffic, but this time, I prayed it would take forever. We arrived at the airport, got a trolley and hauled all of luggage to the security check point. Only ticketed passengers are allowed into the airport, so I said my goodbyes and made my way into the airport and headed over to the scales to sort myself out. I knew my bags were over weight, but I didn’t care, I was prepared for the fees and was determined to get all of the stuff back home with me come hell or high water. Most of my bags weighed 26 kgs and the weight limit was 23 kgs. While waiting in life, an agent asked if I was a frequent flyer member and I said yes, so they put me through the first class line. After fidgeting with my bags for about 30 minutes, I finally got down to only two overweight bags, so I paid $600…it’s just money, right? Anyway, I checked in and the airline gave me a coupon for a drink and snack because of the delay, which I thought was really nice. I enjoyed my tea and snack while watching Cameroon versus Brasil. I then proceeded to security and what I call “the holding tank,” which is an area after security, but before boarding. It is hot, smelly, and the wait feels like forever.

After waiting nearly three hours, I saw the huge KLM plane pull up. That was the plane that was going to take me home. I am really leaving Africa. How is this possible? I am heartbroken, but I must muster the strength and get on this plane. I watched the stewardess and pilots and soon it will be my turn. I can do this.

The Amsterdam flight was very nice. Upon boarding, they offered newspapers (in Dutch of course) and the standard small pillow and thin blanket. This flight was 7 hours, 45 minutes, so they serviced meals. Before meal service began, there was an announcement about looking for a doctor on board. I have heard that announcement on movies, but I have never heard it in real life. I silently prayed for whatever happened, the person would be okay. Meal service began with a lavender scented, warm towel, which is a nice addition to the service. The first hot meal was a choice or Nile perch or pasta. I had the perch. It came with a salad, potatoes, zucchini, fresh roll, cheese/crackers, and a swiss roll. I ordered white wine…ah, yes, I can make my own drink decisions and not be “disciplined” for taking the brew of a sinner. After the meal, I listlessly slept for about two hours, then I woke up and started watching movies and Mad Men. I have never been able to sleep in a car or on a plane unless I am lying flat, but I am too cheap to pay for an upgrade. The last few hours of a long flight are hardest for me. I am anxious to get to Amsterdam and find out about my next flight, since I think I may have already missed it.

I tried to get a pic of my meal, but really dark.

flying over Amsterdam

I made it to my next flight with a few minutes to spare. I thought I was late, but they were also late boarding. While I was waiting to get to security, I met two nuns who had been in Kampala for the past three weeks for a large meeting. One of the nuns had lived in Uganda for 28 years. The nuns were from South Bend, Indiana. I had to go through another security line and the security was very tight. Each person (or family) met with a TSA agent and the agent asked many questions about who packed my bags and if anyone had asked me to carry explosives for them. I thought he was joking, but he was quite serious. Then, I went through a full body scan and thorough pat down…and I thought Uganda was bad! It was really insane, worse than the embassy. The flight to Detroit was smooth sailing although I was very bored. I tried sleeping, watching movies, planning games, and reading, but nothing could keep my attention. I was very excited to see my family, so I am very impatient. The food was good and I sat next to a quiet, older man. I even had a Greek salad with feta cheese, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar…so yummy!

Loved this plane. There were even USB connectors to charge my photo and a beautiful screen!

Schiphol airport in Amsterdam

salad with cheese!!!

Once I landed in Detroit, I called my mom for the first time after switching my cell phone card. I had tears come to my eyes just think about us reuniting together in a few hours. Then, I deplaned and looked for the new flight. Before going to the new flight, you have to go through passport control and re-check baggage. Unfortunately my baggage didn’t make the flight to Detroit, so I check with the Delta official and they suggested I file a claim in St. Louis. It was a blessing in disguise because I didn’t have to lug all of those bags through the airport again. I chatted with friends and then got on the last flight, which was delayed a bit due to weather. At this point, I was used to delays. I finally arrived at the St. Louis airport about 4 p.m., which was more than 24 hours when I entered the plan in Entebbe. I saw my family and hugged them with tears streaming down my face. It was such a nice reunion. My niece, Ella, is so huge! The last time I saw her she was one month old and such a sleepy baby. Now, she is a little girl! I was concerned that she might cry, but she came right to me! I went over to my sister’s house and had dinner and then drove my car to my house. My roommates and best friend where there and it was such a nice time just sitting together drinking wine and talking about my crazy experiences. Joe cleaned the house and made everything so perfect for me. I just had to sit back and relax. What a long, long journey, but I am home. Hopefully, my bags will come today and I can unpack. I know that culture shock will come and it will take me a while to readjust to life back home, but for now, I am thankful to be home. Thank you for everyone for your well wishes.