I have had so many changes since I last blogged including going back to work, breaking a bone in my foot, starting my dissertation, registering for an intro to Judaism class, etc. But today I would like to focus on an issue that is very close to my heart. If you live in St. Louis, you are aware of the racial divide that was portrayed in the news to all of the country after the shooting of Mike Brown. I absolutely love St. Louis. I did not grow up here, but I have lived here since I was 24 and I love it. We have beautiful parks, a world-class zoo, museums, bike trails, many religious organizations, good schools, diverse community, etc. It is affordable and you get a lot for your money. I always complain about being landlocked and the fact that Lambert is not really an international airport, but other than that, it is a great place to live. But bubbling under that surface is this racial divide. I don't understand judging someone based on their culture, race, skin color, religion, gender, sexual identity, etc. I never have and never will. That being said, I am a white woman and I can only speak from my own experiences/perceptions. I have rarely faced prejudice. I faced a bit of prejudice in Uganda for being a liberal woman and my religious beliefs, but it was a far cry from the prejudice I have heard from friends, seen on the news, and read in books. I try really hard to make sure I am informed about how marginalized people feel and keep my ears open.
I am currently reading That's the Way It Was: Stories of Struggle, Survival and Self-Respect in Twentieth-Century Black St. Louis by Vida Goldman Prince. I saw this book at the library and really wanted to read it. The author interviewed thirteen different people who grew up in St. Louis and lived through the civil rights era. I have only read two chapters, but it is fascinating to hear people talk about places I go to today and how things were at that time. I can't help but put myself in their shoes and listen to their oral histories about how things used to be...and still are today.
As a teacher, I feel it is my duty to make sure my students know the difference between right and wrong. They need to be able to evaluate things critically and carefully. I want my students to make decisions based on what is right for them, not what is popular. I had an incident with one of my students last week that caused me to reflect about the current events. I rarely have behavorial problems with my students, but they sometimes have problems with other students. I teach ESL (students who are learning English), so all of my students represent other countries. The majority of my students are Mexican, but we do have a smattering of other countries including El Salvador, Togo, DRC, Ivory Coast, Vietnam, Laos, etc. My student got into a physical fight with another student and was suspended from school (as was the other student). I had a chance to talk with him after the fight and he kept saying to me, "Ms. Cardwell, he called me African. He was making fun of the way I spoke English. He's been bothering me for two weeks." It literally tore my heart out of my chest. We are a caring school and we take bullying very seriously. We listen to students and take their feelings seriously. We now have a lot more staff that are trained in how to deal with serious issues that are students face. I asked my student why he didn't tell me and he admitted that he thought it would stop. This incident provided me an opportunity to remind my student that we must tell adults when something is bothering us and we must solve things peacefully. We must talk through them and educate others. I couldn't help but think of the Ferguson protests and how things have turned violent again. In fact, this week there were businesses damaged (again) and I can't help but wonder why? Why would people damage businesses in their own community? Why would people drive business owners away?
In my opinion, if I am willing to destroy businesses in my community, I have no other choice. This would be a last resort solution. I do not have control over anything, so I am going to control what I can. This just feels wrong to me. Everyone should have a choice. Is this a case of right and wrong or a case of having to put up with prejudice for so long, it just explodes? I am not sure, but I know something has to happen so that all people feel loved and accepted. I don't like labels and I don't want to put people in a box. The idea that I should act a certain way because I am a woman or white abhors me. I am a human and I get to decide the way I want to act. That doesn't give me an excuse to break the law or destroy property. That is a right and wrong issue. But I should be able to walk down my street (on the sidewalk) without being harassed by law enforcement. I should be able to walk into a gas station to buy a coffee without being followed. I should not get pulled over just because of my skin color. I shouldn't have to worry about a police officer shooting me because I reach for my driver's license. I should be able to apply for a load to get a house or car because of my credit and not because of my appearance. I want every student who comes through my door to feel respected and loved. I want every parent I encounter to feel I respect them for who they are and value their choices. I was not put on this earth to judge you, but to listen, learn, and respect you because you are beautifully made.
I do like some of the positive steps that my city is taking in order to bridge the differences and discuss the beliefs about other cultures. They are offering forums and there is a screening for a locally made movie at the history museum. The media has advertised various events to help Ferguson residents and business owners. This is a step in the right direction, albeit a bit late. Maybe we could be more proactive instead of reactive. The shooting of an unarmed teen in Ferguson was just a manifestation of what has been happening for years. It is our duty to make it right and listen to each other. Regardless of your belief of what happened that night, we need to learn from this situation so that it may never happen again.
