Last week, three of my colleagues and I headed to Makerere University to present at their National Conference for English Language and Literature teachers. We are hosting the same type of conference next week, so I thought this would be my chance to see a conference in action. Peter talked me into submitting an abstract, so I did and was asked to present. I was told that there were going to be about 150, but when I arrived, there were actually over 500 registered!! I was mortified. I HATE speaking in public, but loving teaching in a classroom. I know it is odd and most people would not know how nervous I actually get, but it is definitely a struggle for me. On top of presenting in another culture and with many people, I was the only white person at the conference. Now, I didn't even know I was white until I came to Uganda! People constantly point it out. They stare at me wherever I go. I feel like a celebrity. I wish I could say it is my stunning beauty, but it is because I am a foreigner...well, and I am curvy. People here falsely believe that white people are skinny or fat, but not curvy. I have actually heard two men arguing in the fish market in front of me about whether I am an albino African...seriously! I am curvy, yes I know, get over it. People here love hips. Seriously. There are models in the little stores with crosses for hips. This is a friend's photo, but it illustrates my point. So funny.
Okay, back to the conference. I was ushered up to the front (of course) while waiting to give my presentation. I didn't know they were running TWO hours behind, so I had plenty of time to prepare. I wasn't there 10 minutes and the presenter used me as part of his demonstration.
I was sitting in the front row and the presenter asked me to stand up. Then, he asked another professor to stand up. He wanted to illustrate something about descriptive language.
He said, "Let's compare these two people. First, look at the hair. This one (pointing to the man) has no hair and he is bald with a smooth head. This one (pointing to me) has soft, long, lustrous hair. Next, let's look at the chest. This one (again with the man) has a flat, strong chest. This one (again to me) has a well-endowed chest that is meant to sustain life. I could continue, but I am afraid we would lose track of this whole presentation. Thank you, please sit down."
I was so embarrassed. I am very sure I was the color of a ripe tomato. People here constantly talk about my body and I love my body, but I feel embarrassed. It has taken me a long time to get to where I accept and love my body because it sustains me. I am healthy and feel good. I am just not sure I enjoy my body being talked about in front of 500 strangers.
About 10 minutes later, the presenter again asked me to stand up and read a poem. He said my English was the best in the room, which I felt was ludicrous. I was in a room full of English teachers, many with more degrees and more experience than me. It really bothers me that people think I am better because I am white and more importantly, from the west. I feel embarrassed when people help me over an African. I am a visitor. I do not deserve special treatment, but it comes, and I hope I am graciously accepting it. I have spent so much time at home fighting for equal access for my students, but it is a useless fight here. White people are thought of as better and no matter how much I try to say otherwise, the way I am treated doesn't change.
When it was my turn, of course the man said everyone was waiting for my presentation. Again, I was gracious (I hope) and thanked him for the introduction. Everyone in the conference is equally important. Geez.
There were so many people that they had to put up tents. This is our view from the front as Daniel was presenting.
We even received cool name tags (sorry for the inverted pic) and polo shirts. I was honored to be a part of the conference.
We have our conference this week. The following things are done:
- name tags printed and cut
- conference briefs - almost finished - waiting on papers
- lunch/break tea tickets printed and cut
- IT person confirmed - laptop, projector, sound system
- food confirmed
- education students met with and confirmed (yes, they are awesome)
- security notified
- presenters, guests, etc. confirmed
- supplies and certificates purchased
Still have a few things to do tomorrow, but mostly finished. I can't believe the national conference is this week. I wrote this grant back in February! Now, we pray for many people. Post to follow this weekend of course!!
